“Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone; therefore we are saved by love.” - Reinhold Niebuhr

When I think of people who I truly admire and have a profound level of respect for, people who may or may not have achieved a lot in terms of status or money in life, they are people who posses a quality which I have set to practice more consciously in my own life.

Happy people practice compassion.

In a recent post on conscious practice, Leo Babuta shared the following quote from Dalai Lama which I couldn’t agree with more:

“If you want to make others happy practice compassion, if you want to make yourself happy, practice compassion.”

In my own experiences, I have without failure come to feel awful as a result of any experience which I approached with a poor mindset or otherwise negative attitude. Be it in a relationship or a job, or anything else. With bad intentions or negative expectations and attitudes we will create misery for ourselves and others. Likewise, if we intend to come to a certain end through undeserving means we will be met with more misery or only temporary pleasure.

But, when we practice compassion, all negative emotions such as fear, hatred, anger, and attachment are left aside. When we approach life and all we do, with absolute compassion, or “kindness of the heart” as it is said in Tibetan, all our doings will be fruitful even if it may not seem like it at the moment.

Life is about those you meet and the things you create,
Not the things you possess, but the moments that are great.

Make no distinction between work and play,
Passionately pursue excellence and live this way.

Let unconventional and impossible be your dreams,
Regardless, pursue them with all your means.

Always have fun and always learn more,
Change the world by what you stand for.

- Sepehr Vakili

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” – Aristotle.

You can get better. In fact, you will get better, by repetition, by doing, by practice, by persistence.

One of my colleagues has become an expert at an enterprise level application we support in our current roles. I recall only 12 months ago, he was nowhere close to where he is now in his mastery, comfort, and ease in providing support and training on this tool. He felt uncomfortable and often anxious in the beginning when he was still new to the tool and was asked to provide support to others.

It’s important to realize that this rule of mastery by practice and repetition is applicable to any pursuit. Be it hosting a call, using a tool, taking care of your body, writing a poem, launching a product, starting a new business…

Your ability to grow is in direct proportion with your ability and willingness to do things which you find challenging, yet rewarding.

The moment you’re in the comfort zone for too long is when you have ceased to thrive.

Whether you believe it or not, you will get better at the things you do regularly. They can be boring and uninteresting activities you have to grind out at a job you don’t even like. They can be negative and destructive habits (smoking, watching tv, unhealthy eating, complaining, having a negative mindset, etc.). Or, they can be things you are passionate about. Productive things you enjoy doing. Things you wish to do excellently.

Not only that, but when you do things which you actually give a damn about, your growth, progress, and creativity towards the mastery of your craft will be inconceivably magnified. 

The choice is yours. Choose wisely.

“I learned patience, perseverance, and dedication. Now I really know myself, and I know my voice. It’s a voice of pain and victory.” – Anthony Hamilton

Meditation is meant to allow one to find a Zen-like state of mind in search of wisdom and life free of suffering . In order to direct thoughts, control emotions and actions. In order to affect outcomes.

I meditate. I also CrossFit. I CrossFit because in the box (gym) it’s not about me VS. you. It’s about me vs. myself. It’s also about me AND everyone else. Because the door has a sign which reads “Check Ego Here”. And that, is where ego ceases to exist, at least until next time.

CrossFit is my meditation.

CrossFit brings me to a similar state of mind as I found myself in when I was at mile 35 of a 50 mile adventure race in the wilderness. CrossFit is far more efficient and accessible.

I CrossFit because I can be better than I last was.
And the only thing that could stop me is my own thoughts.

Every time I’m under the bar or in a met-con workout, I am given two options. An easy option which doesn’t take much but takes away a whole lot as it leaves me without peace, without focus, without direction, without progress. But, I also have another option, a more challenging, yet, virtuous one which requires discipline, repetition, patience, persistence, defiance, and belief. Belief that what I once thought impossible, really is, possible. Belief backed by proof through realization of the impossible.

CrossFit, like meditation, impacts all other areas of my life. When I CrossFit, I am at peace. I am strong. I am reposed. I am steady.

I then approach life and everything it brings my way as such.

“I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.” - Albert Einstein

Einstein’s genius was in large due to his arrogance and unwillingness to settle along with his childish curiosity. This is a common trait among the most brilliant people, ones who later in life are called geniuses. People like Einstein are able to do their best work only in doing work which they enjoy and find meaningful. We cannot do great or significant work unless we are doing work that we care about very much. Anything else, no matter how much one may try, will be good at best. To do anything less, one would cheat not only himself but humanity of his potential contribution.

“Your purpose in life is to find your purpose and give your whole heart and soul to it.” – Buddha

In trying to answer this question in my own life I’ve begun to live what I call an examined life, a life in which I am fully engaged. Having grown up in a conservative Persian family I was taught many conventional views when it comes to things such as work and life. I worked hard in anything I did, always took the safe road and for the most part did what was expected of me. Recently, I came to the realization that the life which I had created for myself was simply a mirror image of what I had seen as being the kind of life that my greatest influences, including my father, have. He’s had several homes along with successful businesses all his life. Put simply, he’s been financially successful from a young age through his strong work ethics and determination. Having perceived my father as happy, I came to think that if he was made happy by such things then I must be able to find happiness through similar means. Right out of college, I had bought my own house. I had a well paying job and though I was successful, I often found myself feeling discontent and even depressed at times.

I recently backpacked through Europe by myself and the experience had a very significant impact on me. I came to have a better understanding and a greater appreciation for the immaterial things in life. I came to realize that the best things in life are not things. They are everything that is intangible, including the things we enjoy doing for ourselves and others. Having found this new perspective, I soon began to do more of the things which I enjoy and find meaningful. I’ve come to find happiness through learning, accomplishing, creating, and doing anything but trying to be happy.

Things which I find joyful and meaningful include adventure, travel, fitness, spirituality, reading and writing. Basically, experiencing life and unlocking my potential by facing my fears and not just learning about life in the books. I’ve skydived twice. I’ve jumped the third highest bungee place in the world at the 720ft dam in Verzasca Valley in beautiful Swiss country. I’ve started to share my passion for fitness by training others in my own garage gym. I’ve started this blog where I share my passion for personal development and writing. And I’ve actively taken up public speaking through Toastmasters.

I’ve learned to be more comfortable with failure and regret. Failure isn’t coming short of a goal or objective, failure is quitting and that is a conscious decision. I’ve come to learn that regret is a good thing because as psychologist Kathryn Schultz said, “regret doesn’t remind us that we did badly, it reminds us that we could do better.” I learned to say more no to things which do not move me closer to where I want to be, while at the same time say more yes to things that do.

I live an examined life because an unexamined life, as Socrates put it, is not worth living. I’d like to suggest that not only is an unexamined life not worth living, but it is not possible, because without examination, one is never really living, but merely existing. The great mythologist Joseph Campbell once said “I don’t believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.” And we can all come to feel alive by having the courage to do the things which we fear most. I don’t know where my life may lead or where I may be in a year or even 6 months from now, but I do know it is only by having the courage to be honest with myself to do the things which I find challenging, yet meaningful, that I’ll come anywhere close to finding my purpose.

I challenge you to be valorous by examining and finding more ways to feel alive in your own life.
So, why do you get up in the morning?

“Achievement is not always success, while reputed failure often is. It is honest endeavor, persistent effort to do the best possible under any and all circumstances.” – Orison Swett Marden

When setting goals we should not obsess over the goal. When we become obsessed with a goal we are seldom content as we always want more. We should have aspirations and desires to improve and achieve, but we should realize that real contentment lies not in the achievement of a goal, but in working toward one.

 “The trouble with goals is that one becomes obsessed with a goal. When you say you’re seeking, it means there’s something to find. But the real freedom is the realization that there are no goals. There’s only the now. What happened yesterday has gone. What will happen tomorrow, we will never know, so, we must live in the present.” - Siddhartha

Living in the moment to me is having the realization that there really is no tomorrow, there’s only today and this very moment. We can come to live in the moment when we leave nothing for tomorrow and do (or cease to do) the things we know we ought to do (or ought not to do) beginning with this very moment.

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” – Dale Carnegie

I wonder how many friends we can accumulate in our lifetime if instead of trying to make others interested in us, we become interested in others. This was after all Dale Carnegie’s advice to winning friends and influencing people. Earl Nightingale echoed this message strongly when he said that you should “treat every person you come in contact with, as if he were the most important person in the world.”

This is the most effective way to win friends. Instead of trying to get others interested in you, become genuinely interested in them.

“The great accomplishments of man have resulted from the transmission of ideas and enthusiasm.” – Thomas J. Watson

The word enthusiasm stems from the Greek word, enthios, or the God within. Enthusiasm is derived from two things: learning and accomplishment. The two go hand in hand. Reflecting on the first 30 days, I was most enthusiastic about a post when I had come to have a greater understanding of something which I then wanted very much to share. This greater understanding or learning would lead to a post serving as a little, yet meaningful daily accomplishment.

I have been most enthusiastic when I shared something from myself as opposed to merely reflecting on the work of others.

On days which I was not fully engaged in what I wrote I felt least enthusiastic. As a result the post was rather forced. This, I believe, is acceptable. The real objective is perseverance. The more I persist the greater my natural tendencies for quality writing become.

I have come to appreciate this project because it encourages me to keep myself positive as every night before heading off to bed I have to recollect myself, fix my attitude, and produce something meaningful and positive. This has been tremendous to my personal growth. I call this Personal Development through Public Writing.

It’s a good idea to look back on what it’s all about every now and then, especially when we almost feel like giving up. Having a strong desire is important because it helps remind us of what once really mattered to us and why we started to do something in the first place. The greater our desire, the greater our likelihood to persevere.

Keep learning. Keep doing. Keep accomplishing.

“Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events [and things]. Small minds discuss people.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

It is important to be conscious of what we say. We shouldn’t discuss people. It is an absolute waste of time. It accomplishes nothing. It only feeds one’s own sense of pride and arrogance. And quite frankly, there are much more significant things to discuss than people. What is there more important than people, you might ask. Something greater. We should discuss ideas. The next time you meet with a group of friends, bring up an idea you may have been thinking about. Ask them to share their ideas as well.

When you must say something about others, keep in mind Benjamin Franklin’s advice, “Speak ill of no man, and speak all the good [you] know of everybody.”

Another thing to discuss with others is our passions. We cannot truly know a person unless we know what he or she is really passionate about. Not just what they do for a living, as we may already know this, but what they would love to be doing for a living (if they aren’t already).

We should avoid talking about ourselves too much. This is especially true when talking about our problems. When we approach others and start up negative and pessimistic conversations we are not doing ourselves any good and we definitely are not doing our friends any good either. In fact, we are driving them away from us. No one wants to hear about your horrible boss, your negative thoughts on the weather, you needing to lose weight, or you just wishing things were different.

We’d do everyone a huge favor if we follow Dale Carnegie’s advice and remember to “Never criticize, condemn, or complain.”

It is commendable to have the desire and ambition to improve current state of affairs. However, whining about it will accomplish little but fill your ego, until next time, which is if you still have someone to hear you next time.